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May 2009
Carol’s Corner
Brent and I have a yearly routine every spring when we review our will and personal final requests to see if there are any changes we want to make. This year, we agreed to note a different funeral home in our individual final request letters. I made the document changes in March and sent the revised copies to our children. Each sealed envelope had the appropriate name typed on the front with the wording, “To be opened when she/he passes on.” Once these were mailed, we did not give it a second thought. In a conversation with our daughter-in-law a few weeks after this mailing, Liz told me what played-out in their home when our final request envelopes were received.
Our youngest granddaughter, Naomi (age 6), happened to be sitting at the diningroom table while her mom made dinner. The mail had been placed on the table, but Liz had not had an opportunity to look at it before preparing dinner. Naomi noticed my final requests envelope on the top of the stack and asked her mom what “passes on” meant. Liz explained it means when a person dies. Naomi got weepy and blurted out, “I don’t want Nana to die! When she goes to heaven, I won’t be able to see her”! Liz came over to see what she had been reading and then sat down to console her. Liz explained I was not going to die for a long, long time. This reasoning appeared to have calmed Naomi … for the time being.
However, as children are wont to do, her mind kept circling around the issue. The following day she asked her mom whether I had died yet. Liz reiterated that I was going to live a very long time – and she added that I would be around when Naomi marries; when Naomi has children, and when they get married; and when her children have children. Naomi seemed content with this response.
Yet by the third day, Naomi’s sensitive mind and heart were still percolating on this “passes on” issue as evidenced by the fact she went to Blake and Liz and said she wanted to die. They were obviously shocked by this statement and asked her what made her say such a thing. (Keep in mind, this comment comes from a child who has a very happy home life; who loves school; who gets along well with others; and who is a happy-go-lucky child.) Naomi informed her parents she wants to be in heaven with me when I die. She was concerned I would go there without her. I give high marks to Liz and Blake for the answer they gave their youngest child – an answer a 6-year old could fathom. They sat her down and told her that when Nana or Grandpa dies, and anyone else she dearly loves, Naomi and her loved one will still be able to see each other. Naomi was puzzled and asked how. They said the person in heaven could look down any time they wanted to see Naomi. And when Naomi, on earth, wanted to see someone she loves who is in heaven, she can look at the many, many pictures taken while they were alive. Her parents’ words gave Naomi the comfort she craved.
Whew. How do I contain such love as this from my dear grandchild? Her love is uninhibited, unconditional, and holds no bounds. My heart feels like it will burst just in the retelling of the story. This leads me to another scenario I experienced in their home a few summers ago when I was visiting with Blake and his family. This time it involved our oldest granddaughter, Natalie (age 8), who was 6-years old at the time. I was sitting at their kitchen table drinking a cup of tea early in the morning. When Natalie woke up, she came into the kitchen and walked over to me and gave me a big hug. She hung on for a long time as I stroked her hair. After awhile she looked at me and asked, “Nana, do you know why I give you so many hugs when you visit?” – to which I asked her why. She said it was so I would remember all her hugs when I go back home and will have them to remember her by. Another “whew” story for this ol’ nana’s heart.
My two little sweeties are a vital part of my life. I take grandparenting seriously – as intentionally as we did our parenting. I have wondered many a time whether we would be able to sustain a long-distance relationship with Natalie and Naomi. So far, it has not seemed to be a problem. In fact, I am beginning to believe the old adage of “absence makes the heart grow fonder” can be true after all. I plan on savoring and deriving much pleasure from these two precious persons for years to come. Although I cannot guarantee I will live to see my great-great grandchildren as Liz suggested!
Brent told me a few months ago he was planning to go to a pastors’ conference in California for his April study leave. He urged me to tag along so as to see
“our girls.” It did not take much convincing, since it has been over a year when we saw them last. We have a strong feeling the hugs, laughter, and bubbling eagerness from Natalie and Naomi will be “just what the doctor ordered” – for both of us. I am penning these words before our trip, but we are confident a good time will be had by all.
~ Carol Hovland-Mitchell
Brent and I have a yearly routine every spring when we review our will and personal final requests to see if there are any changes we want to make. This year, we agreed to note a different funeral home in our individual final request letters. I made the document changes in March and sent the revised copies to our children. Each sealed envelope had the appropriate name typed on the front with the wording, “To be opened when she/he passes on.” Once these were mailed, we did not give it a second thought. In a conversation with our daughter-in-law a few weeks after this mailing, Liz told me what played-out in their home when our final request envelopes were received.
Our youngest granddaughter, Naomi (age 6), happened to be sitting at the diningroom table while her mom made dinner. The mail had been placed on the table, but Liz had not had an opportunity to look at it before preparing dinner. Naomi noticed my final requests envelope on the top of the stack and asked her mom what “passes on” meant. Liz explained it means when a person dies. Naomi got weepy and blurted out, “I don’t want Nana to die! When she goes to heaven, I won’t be able to see her”! Liz came over to see what she had been reading and then sat down to console her. Liz explained I was not going to die for a long, long time. This reasoning appeared to have calmed Naomi … for the time being.
However, as children are wont to do, her mind kept circling around the issue. The following day she asked her mom whether I had died yet. Liz reiterated that I was going to live a very long time – and she added that I would be around when Naomi marries; when Naomi has children, and when they get married; and when her children have children. Naomi seemed content with this response.
Yet by the third day, Naomi’s sensitive mind and heart were still percolating on this “passes on” issue as evidenced by the fact she went to Blake and Liz and said she wanted to die. They were obviously shocked by this statement and asked her what made her say such a thing. (Keep in mind, this comment comes from a child who has a very happy home life; who loves school; who gets along well with others; and who is a happy-go-lucky child.) Naomi informed her parents she wants to be in heaven with me when I die. She was concerned I would go there without her. I give high marks to Liz and Blake for the answer they gave their youngest child – an answer a 6-year old could fathom. They sat her down and told her that when Nana or Grandpa dies, and anyone else she dearly loves, Naomi and her loved one will still be able to see each other. Naomi was puzzled and asked how. They said the person in heaven could look down any time they wanted to see Naomi. And when Naomi, on earth, wanted to see someone she loves who is in heaven, she can look at the many, many pictures taken while they were alive. Her parents’ words gave Naomi the comfort she craved.
Whew. How do I contain such love as this from my dear grandchild? Her love is uninhibited, unconditional, and holds no bounds. My heart feels like it will burst just in the retelling of the story. This leads me to another scenario I experienced in their home a few summers ago when I was visiting with Blake and his family. This time it involved our oldest granddaughter, Natalie (age 8), who was 6-years old at the time. I was sitting at their kitchen table drinking a cup of tea early in the morning. When Natalie woke up, she came into the kitchen and walked over to me and gave me a big hug. She hung on for a long time as I stroked her hair. After awhile she looked at me and asked, “Nana, do you know why I give you so many hugs when you visit?” – to which I asked her why. She said it was so I would remember all her hugs when I go back home and will have them to remember her by. Another “whew” story for this ol’ nana’s heart.
My two little sweeties are a vital part of my life. I take grandparenting seriously – as intentionally as we did our parenting. I have wondered many a time whether we would be able to sustain a long-distance relationship with Natalie and Naomi. So far, it has not seemed to be a problem. In fact, I am beginning to believe the old adage of “absence makes the heart grow fonder” can be true after all. I plan on savoring and deriving much pleasure from these two precious persons for years to come. Although I cannot guarantee I will live to see my great-great grandchildren as Liz suggested!
Brent told me a few months ago he was planning to go to a pastors’ conference in California for his April study leave. He urged me to tag along so as to see
“our girls.” It did not take much convincing, since it has been over a year when we saw them last. We have a strong feeling the hugs, laughter, and bubbling eagerness from Natalie and Naomi will be “just what the doctor ordered” – for both of us. I am penning these words before our trip, but we are confident a good time will be had by all.
~ Carol Hovland-Mitchell
Last Updated ( Wednesday, 24 June 2009 00:19 )
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